Love Latters

There was a young man named Bami. He was on his way to the supermarket, when he saw a lovely beauty passing by. He could not take his eyes off of her. He said to himself, 'Wow, what a gorgeous lady! I will surely one day make her mine forever'. The lady entered her car and drove off from the supermarket to her home.

Unknown to her she was followed by Bami and finally she got out of the car and entered her home. Bami having traced her noticed that there was a mail box in front of her house, he thought 'What a golden opportunity'.

Bami went back to his home plotting a way to get her. Then he thought to himself 'Since she has a mail box and my house is far away from hers... sending love letters won't be a bad idea'. Quickly he put his pen to paper and started writing amazing love letters. Each day, after writing a letter he would call a postman to help him send it to her.

This continued for four months and to his surprised the lady married the postman.

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THE SCARED CHILD

It was about 7 p.m. in the evening. After having his dinner a boy zoomed off to his dad's room asking his dad to put on the generator. The dad quickly went into the generator room and put it on.
DAD: Alright son it's on... Go to the sitting room and have some fun!
SON: Okay daddy.
He quickly went into the sitting room and switched on the television.
Some minutes later...
DAD: It's time to sleep.
SON: Okay dad.

The boy entered his room to sleep...He was already fast asleep, when the dad entered and put his shoes in his wardrobe and switched off the light.
Awake wanting to use the toilet, the son looked at the toilet direction, it was very dark. Frowning he decided not to wee, then put his face on his pillow tightly. After some minutes he couldn't bear it. He looked around again then saw two eyes in his window direction. He was already shrieking and sweating still having his eye on the two eyes he saw. He then closed his eyes and opened them again, looking at what he saw. He then suddenly shouted 'DADDY!'. Hearing his scream his dad ran into his room and said 'Son what is it?'

SON: Look at that two eyes! [Already urinated on his body]
DAD: Two eyes?! [Looking in the same direction, also afraid]
With great shock his dad ran to the light switch and switched it on. SHOCKING TO THEM IT WAS THE SHOES HIS DAD DROPPED IN THE WARDROBE. [Looking at each other and laughing]

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The Ritual

Bami's father was out on a long journey for about two weeks and he was returning home with his brand new vehicle he had bought. He drove 50 km all the way from his journey and got to a T-junction where there was a traffic light with a red light signifying him to stop. He quickly stopped his car and when it showed yellow he was wanted to start the car, but it didn't start.

Finally it showed red again and his car still didn't start. A lot of cars behind him beeped for about two min and it was very noisy. This woke the road regulation officer who was sleeping on duty. Suddenly Bami's father's car started and he was about to take off when the officer came up and stoped him.

Officer: Hey Mister, you have violated the road rules and regulations. [He only said this to get a bribe from Bami's Father.]
Bami's Father: But Sir, I didn't violate any ru...rules. [Officer breaks in.]
Officer: Shut up there! Now open your car and let's go to our office and pay 50,000 Naira fine.

Bami's father calmly opened the car for the officer and he entered.
Bami's father was very scared, knowing that he would have to waste a huge amount of money which he didn't have any intentions for. He continued driving having some thoughts in his mind.

Officer: [Pointing at the office direction] See that is our office.
Suddenly they are 2km away from the office. At the front of the office was a turn leading to the highway road. After getting to this turning point where he was supposed to park his car, he courageously turned his car steering to face the highway, quickly pressed a button that locked the car and put the windows up. [This made the officer brutally angry].
Officer: I told you that is our office and you failed to listen! Mister you have committed an offence number 2. That is you have just disrupted justice from taking place!
Bami's father behaved as if he wasn't in the car and ignored all this yelling and turned his gear to a faster one. After that, Bami's father's dad called him and while his phone was vibrating he quickly thought of a plan.

Bami's father: [He picked up the phone] Yes baba... The ritual you asked me to prepare is ready and I will be there in any minute. [Hangs up the phone].
Hearing this, the officer began to have various thoughts going on in his mind which were: What? Did he just say the ritual is ready? His he a ritualist? Am I going to be used as a sacrifice?
Officer: [The officer burst into tears] Sir, I am sorry I will not take you to my office... You didn't even commit any offences at all... Please forgive me I am sorry... I don't want to dieeee... I am too young to die please, my lord.
Bami's father was very happy in his heart that the plan worked but still made a frowning look.
Bami's father: [Parked the car and unlocked the door] Now get the hell out of my car you idiot!
Officer: [Wiping his tears] Yes sir thank you very much, my lord.

Bami's father drove off happily to his home and didn't spend any unnecessary money.

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Find Out What Your Star Signs Have For You

Aries: March 21- April 19

*Serious and Quiet

*Lazy

*Sensitive

*Open-Minded

Taurus: April 20- May 20

*Loyal and Faithful 

*They respect Tradition 

*Loving and caring

*Sensitive

Gemini: May 21- June 20

*Intelligent

*Independent

*Full of Pride

*Very creative 

Cancer: June 21-July 22

*Secretive

*Cruel

*Smart

Leo: July 23- August 23

*Unorganized

*Risk Taker

*Talkative

Virgo: August 23- September 22

*Loyal

*Hardworking

*Creative

Libra: September 23- October 22

*Attention-seeker

*Loud

*Talkative

Scorpio: October 23- November 21

*Jealous

*Bossy

*Sensitive

Sagittarius: November 22- December 21

*Loving

*Creative

*Kind and Friendly 

Capricorn: December 22- January 19

*Liar

*Stingy

*Sense of Humor

Aquarius: January 20- February 18

*Naughty

*Trustworthy

*Loving

Pisces: February 19- March 20

*Hard-worker

*Positive-Thinker

*Lover not a Fighter

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Signs You Are Addicted To Social Media

Do you know there are signs you are addicted to social media? The good news is that if you are addicted, there are things that you can do to deal with that. Social media is an awesome thing but it is also something we need to keep in proper perspective. Be on the lookout for signs you are addicted to social media and if you think you might be, make some changes to help you deal with that.
Social media addiction is the habitual or consistent use of social media such as: Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, WhatsApp, etc In this context, one will normally find it difficult to stop or minimise the rate at which he uses these apps. The worst part is some of us don't know or acknowledge they are social media addicts. So take chilled water and relax while I state some signs one is addicted to social media; and should you find yourself doing 2-3 of these signs, you take 'antidote' from my next article 'How To Stop Social Media Addiction'.

1. YOU CHECK IT FIRST THING IN THE MORNING
One of the commonest signs you are addicted to social media is if you check it first thing in the morning. This isn't a definite sign; for some of us, it is just a habit we enjoy while we are waking up. But if it is coupled along with some of the other signs you are addicted to social media listed here, it may be something you need to work on. Another sign that runs right along with this one is checking it in the middle of the night. Try to break yourself from this, even if it's just for a week to give yourself some free mental space.

2. YOU TEXT ON YOUR MOBILE WHILE WALKING OR EATING
This is one of the core signs you are addicted to social media. If you are the type that always have to make new post or tweet while walking or eating, be sure you are addicted to social. This isn't a healthy habit though; you need to break yourself away from it. Especially if you are always reminded of your breakfast, launch or dinner.

3. WHEN YOU LEAVE YOUR LAPTOP OR MOBILE PHONE AT HOME AND FEEL A SENSE OF ISOLATION
Because you can't use any of the social media on your phone or PC and your whole mind is on making new posts or tweets; you think of recent messages and comments you had on your last post, it's crystal clear you are a social media addict. And whenever you find yourself away from your PC you keep wondering what your friends could be talking about on the trending post/tweets.

4. YOU ARE ALWAYS LOST TEXTING WHILE YOU ARE WITH FRIENDS OR FAMILY
That moment when you are with your friends and they are discussing on something you should contribute on and you are lost chatting on social media. Many of your friends have stopped visiting you because they think you are a nerd and antisocial, it's because you are addicted to social media.

5. WHILE ONLINE, YOU WILL ALWAYS HAVE TO KEEP THE LIGHT OF YOUR PHONE ON
Another sign that assess you are addicted to social media is having to keep the light of your phone on, even when you are not typing to anyone. You like keeping conscious of who comes online or offline, be sure you are social media addict.

6. YOU HAVE MORE SOCIAL MEDIA ICONS ON YOUR SCREEN THAN PRODUCTIVITY
You log into different social network at the same time and would have to carry your power bank along with you just to keep you active on all of them is a symptom you are addicted to social media.

As you assess yourself with these signs, you be on the lookout for my next article 'How To Stop Social Media Addiction'

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Super Weight Loss Plan

Mr. Fred, who is the fattest guy in his locality, wanted to lose weight. He searched the internet, saw T.V., went to body building centers but his weight remained the same. One day Fred saw a T.V. Add about a weight loss plan. He was super exited. He signs up for the junior level weight loss plan. It promises weight loss of 15 pounds in a week'
 Next day at his house, a beautiful naked blonde wearing only a pair of running shoes came with a board in her hand saying "if you catch me,I'm yours". Fred started running at her. She ran and he couldn't catch her.

This continued for a week. At the end of the week the company came and recorded the weight. He lost 15 pounds. Happy with the programe, he signed up for the premium weight loss plan. It promises weight loss of 20 pounds a week.


Next day a two beautiful red heads stood naked with a pair of running shoes and a board saying "if you catch us we will be yours". Fred tries to catch them but fails. This goes on for a week. This time he almost catches them. At the end of the week the company records his weight and finds that he lost 21 pounds. He was super exited.
 He wanted to take the master weight loss plan. It promises weight loss of 30 pounds. But the company made him sign life insurance. They said it was dangerous. Fred said that he was ready for it. Next day at Fred's house, he was waiting for the girl. But a man with 300 pounds in a pair of running shoes and a big cock erection stood at his door with a board saying "if I catch you, you are mind". Fred ran for his life. Fred was supposed to lose 30 pounds but he lost 39 pounds!!!

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Emotional Fool

After a long time five friends met each other. They all were very happy. But in their school days they were the headache of their parents and teachers. One day they all decided to go out and they went to a five-star hotel for dinner. After dinner, the manager came with the bill. They looked at each other's face, who's going to pay.














First friend: I'll pay.Second friend: No, I'm going to pay.

Third friend: Oh hello!! I'll pay.

Fourth friend: What are you doing guys. Give the bill to me, I'll pay.

Fifth friend: Shut up you all!! Let me pay.

Watching this, the manager became very emotional and very happy to see their friendship. He said, ''I'm very happy to see your friendship. Always be like that and i'm going to give you a 20% discount.''

Third friend: Thank you very much!! But we are in dispute who will pay.

Fifth friend: Ok, let's make a race and the winner will pay.

The manager agreed.

All friends came to the starting point and waited for the race to start.

Manager: Ready!! On your mark!! Get set!! Run!!!

First friend: Run!!!

Second friend: Run!!!

Third friend: Run!!!

Fourth friend: Run!!!

Fifth friend: Runnnn........!!!


The manager is still waiting for the winner!!!!!

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Barrister Akpos And The Village Farmer

Barrister Akpos who has gone to the village for Christmas celebration went hunting in a nearby village.

He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of the fence.

As Barrister Akpos climbed over the fence, an elderly gentleman asked him what he was doing.

He responded,

"I shot a duck and it fell in this field. I am going to retrieve it."

The old farmer replied,

"This is my property and you are not coming here."

Arrogant Akpos said,

"I am one of the best trial attorneys in this country and if you don't let me get that duck, I will sue you and take everything!"

The old farmer smiled and said,


"Apparently, you do not know how we do things here. We settle small disagreement like this with Three-kick Rule."

Barrister Akpos asked,

"What is the Three-kick Rule?"

The farmer replied,

"Well, first I kick you three times and then you kick me three times, and so on, back and forth, until someone gives up."

Akpos quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old man.

He agreed to abide by the local custom.

The old farmer slowly walked up to him.

His first kick planted the toe of his heavy work boot into Akpos' groin and dropped him to his knees.

His second kick nearly wiped Akpos' nose off his face.

Barrister Akpos was flat on his belly when the farmer's third kick to a kidney nearly caused him to give up."

He eventually summoned every bit of his will and managed to get to his feet and said,

"Okay, you old farmer, now it's my turn."

The farmer smiled and said,

"Now I give up. You can have the duck."

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Fun Fact About Your Body

Human body is quite a wonder. The human body is a machine that is full of wonder. I have a collection of amazing and funny human body facts. Read below to know some fun facts about a human body: 

1. Did you know that you can fill two large swimming pools with your saliva produced in an average lifetime?Phew! 

2. Next time you speak, remember that your tongue is the strongest muscle that you have. 

3. Just because they are at the bottom, you shouldn't underestimate them. Human feet have the honor of having 52 bones. Who would have thought! 

4. Bones are not the only thing feet have in plenty. They also harbor 500,000 sweat glands. No wonder they can become stinky so easily. 

5. Do you know that something in your body is strong enough to dissolve razor blades? Any guesses? It s the acid present in your stomach. 

6. If all the iron could be extracted from your body, you could end up making a 3 inches long nail. 

7. The body heat produced by you in half an hour is enough to boil half a gallon of water. So next time someone says, You are hot! , you better believe! 

8. Sneezes are fast and furious with a speed that often exceeds 100 mph. 

9. You can t tickle yourself. Go on, try it but you ll never succeed. That s because there is no element of surprise when you do it to yourself. 

10. That little nose of yours can remember as much as 50,000 different kinds of smells and scents. 

11. Your body houses approximately 60,000 miles of blood vessels. 

12. Wonder what your brain has the most? Probably water. Yes, that s because it s made up of 80 percent water 

13. Eyes say it all and they never change. From birth till you grow, their size remains unchanged. 

14. Want to become tall? Check your height in the mornings rather than the evenings. That s because you ll find yourself approximately 1 cm taller when you wake up in the morning. Amazing, huh? 

15. Brain is nocturnal i.e. its activity level is much higher at night as compared to the day. 

16. Every minute your body witnesses the death of 3 hundred million cells. 

17. Do you know what else is unique besides your fingerprints? It s your tongue print. 

18. When you are scared, your ears will produce more ear wax. So be brave if you want less ear wax. 

19. Less the temperature of the room in which you sleep, more the chances of you having a bad dream. So do yourself a favor and turn that AC off after a while. 

20. 17 muscles make a smile but when you frown, 43 muscles have to work. So it makes more sense to smile. Isn't it? 

Enjoy the blessing of being an amazing human! 

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A Weird Night

A Weird Night

Hey guys, I want to share a story with you

One fine night, I was hanging and having a lot of fun with friends. We did not realize that we were quite far away from the city and to make it worse, our car got overheated. So we stopped in the middle of nowhere to repair it. We were all tired and as my friends took a nap, i was left awake. I decided to check out on the sorrounding and so i stepped out of the car. A cool breeze blew over and made me shiver. Without much care, i looked around and saw a huge lit graveyard.

Slowly, i walked towards the graveyard and as the light became more luminous, i noticed an old man's figure staring at me. Pointing at my direction, he requested that i come to where he was. Well, deep down i was scared but i had to pretend I was not. I walked to him. He selected a book from a pile and handed it to me. He then asked for $35 as payment. I gave him the amount and as i was leaving, he pulled me towards his face and whispered harshly.

"Don't dare to ever open the last page of that book or you will die!"

The horror of the words crept in my mind. I struggled to set myself free from his grip and ran like a chicken fixed with Nitro-Oxides at the back to aid as a speed booster. I safely reached to the place where my friends were. I was much relieved when we were ready to depart.

When I finally got home, I started reading the book. It has been a week now. It is an interesting book talking of restless souls and how they haunt this world. After finishing the other pages, curiosity got the better of me and i was dying to know the secrets that the last page had in store. Yet, i was scared by the thought of loosing my life...taking a deep breath, i turned the last leaf...

it read, "RETAIL PRICE IS 0.5$"

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